well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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