Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
