its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
