I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
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