is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
