I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
