Can i not drive my cunt home
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
