I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize