I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
false alarm. still invincible.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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