My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
