Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
my being single is dangerous.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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