Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
