I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
How's work?
Spinning.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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