the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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