hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
