Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize
