i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
