Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
