Dual....:-)
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
