i already hear my dad disowning me
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
