just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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