I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
