No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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