Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
