you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
