Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
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