We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
We need to get me chipped asap
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
