New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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