I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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