Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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