i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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