a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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