need another drink. this is the easiest way
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
