Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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