Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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