I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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