Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
