Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize