Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Randomize
