but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
