My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
