My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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