Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
