I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
