Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
