nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Randomize
