Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize