Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
