i wish starbucks made bloody marys
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
