You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
