I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
