we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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