Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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