i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
