We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Randomize
