big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
