i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
