Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Randomize
