Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Randomize
