oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Dick very happy bro
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
