Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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