I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
and you fell through a lawn chair
Randomize
