Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
