i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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