why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
