don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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